Being Deserving!!

.....Its an early day tomorrow, but as I lie in my bed sleepless at 5.00 Am wondering about.. how most of the time I  take alot of things for granted.


No! Its not even that, its about how petty some things seem to be when the fear of something worse can happen creeps into my paranoid mind.

Those arguments over..now which seem like trivial issues with my hubby.
Those plans of buying stuff or were to go this weekend.
Those insecurities I let myself feel as a wife, as a mother, as a woman.
Being at times inflexible with my parenting methods or being a bit too strict with my lil one.
Those inabilities or failures from my past.
Every single thing I usually fight over in my mind about me that isn't good enough.
Those ridiculous do s and don'ts  I subject my little one too.
All these just seem crap such a waste of this beautiful life I have been gifted. Why cant I feel like this every time? Why cant i be content and happy and satisfied with who I am.

This is not just about acceptance of who I am and what I have in my life....but beyond that, its about embracing what's given to me...with so much love. Its about being deserving of these beautiful gifts...beautiful relationships...
Every night I pray and thank this divine power for thinking I deserve this kinda happiness in my life.


Today I realised I had to add another sentence to my prayer....its promising to be that person everyday who deserves to enjoy these wonderful experiences as a Wife, Mother ...daughter..a woman etc. Respecting its value.


Everything given to me is for a reason and I need to live every day proving to myself that I deserve to keep this....and nothing else is more important than the people I love in my life and everything else in between is just white noise.